If this is it….
“Its strange to have a creation out there, a deeply mutated version of yourself running around….” - Dexter, Season 2 Finale
My video, Amy At The Club got to the top of Digg.com last week with 4424 Diggs. As a result, a few things happened:
My traffic here went crazy, which was great but made me wish I had been writing more interesting stuff recently…. Please check out the “Most Popular Posts” link to see the more interesting highlights.
I also got a bunch of emails and myspace messages from some great people who liked the video. I really appreciate all of your support, and hope to have some new videos up soon. All this stuff was awesome - I was really floored by all the sudden attention.
On the other hand, I got hundreds of comments on Digg and CollegeHumor from people talking about how ugly I am, and the methods they’d use to rape me. I mean, I love that people hate Amy - I’ve done my job if she illicts that much of a response. But a lot of people didn’t seem to get the difference between me and Amy, and reacted as though it was a documentary. So it was pretty gross how rapey the comments got.
I have a lot of friends who are also making videos for the internet, but they’re all guys, and they never get that kind of response. No one watches “What If There’s Bears” and talks about how much they’d love to shove a dick in Ben Rodgers’ mouth. I have yet to read a comment on Teddy Saw that says Ben Schwartz “better brush his teeth” or has fucked up eyebrows. Similarly, I couldn’t find a comment that said Keyboard Kid is pretty funny, even though Dominic Dierkes’ “face is shot” (but could still be fuckable after being beaten). Hell, no one even says shit like that about Bro’ Rape!
It’s sad that some people have such a hard time seeing women as funny, that they let the fact that we’ve got tits completely overshadow anything else we’re doing or saying. There’s a lot of really funny women out there, who are all coming up with really quality, really hilarious stuff, but all these small-minded, floppy-dicked losers can see is that they’ve got boobs and might look enough like their mommies to turn them on.
One more tiny rant - never has someone accused a guy, of trying to portray all men with one character. Most people don’t turn off the TV after one Chappelle Show sketch and said “Yep, he did it! That’s all black people!” So to anyone who liked my video because “That’s so true - females are all like that. Bitches.” please go punch yourself in the dick. It’s probably the only action it gets.
Either way, thanks for the clicks, views, forwards and comments!
Oh, and yes - it’s Blackbird by the Beatles.
Editted to add: Everyone seems worried that I’m taking my ball and going home - but I am not! People say that stuff about female comedians all the time - if I didn’t have a thick skin, I wouldn’t have survived New York comedy. After a week of it though, I just needed to say something back in my own little blog space.
January 21st, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Great video. Thanks for sharing such quality content.
January 21st, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Agreed! Congratulations on your newly minted ifame. I’m certain there will be more to come.
January 21st, 2008 at 4:01 pm
I thought that Amy at the Club was absolutely hilarious. Just about eveyone I have shown it to (which amounts to dozens of friends) can related. On your topic of women taking on comedy, take a look at an actor like Will Ferrel. What makes him funny is that he takes the roles of characters that are too yicky for most actors. It takes some real talent like yours to prortray someone who is annoying as hell that everyone can related to. Great job, keep it up.
January 21st, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Well, I thought the video was great and I don’t think you’re ugly nor do I wish to rape you. To be honest, I would make sweet, sweet love to you until we both cried as the sun rose.
Ummm, never mind. Cool video!
January 21st, 2008 at 5:08 pm
There’s so much awesome comedy and stuff on the internet that sometimes it’s hard to remember that behind every amusing video or thought-provoking blog post is a living, breathing human being who is putting him or herself out on the line by being creative. By doing SOMETHING. It’s hard enough to do ANYTHING in this world, much less SOMETHING. Congrats and thank you for having the bravery to put up with the retarded slings and small-minded arrows.
The internet sometimes makes it hard to remember that, while the douchebags might outnumber the non-douchebags, there are plenty of non-d-bags out there. Speaking on behalf of that small (and seeming-to-shrink) non-d-bag contingent, fuck those jerks. Amy/Eliza/Jesus is just alright with me!
January 21st, 2008 at 5:10 pm
after seeing your video i wanted to feel you up. after looking at the rest of your work (stickerbook, pandas, sexual intercourse, the hip hop thing) i wanted you to rape me. keep it up! ur amusing!
January 21st, 2008 at 5:42 pm
I think you’re hilarious, and I don’t want to rape you. But I mean that in a good way. Wait, that came out wrong. I mean, I think you’re really funny and I’d sleep with you, but I wouldn’t force you to do it. Umm. That’s not what I meant to say, either. Okay look, I laughed really hard and never once thought of forcefully pleasuring myself with you against your wishes… okay, let me start over, this has really gone awry.
I do believe with all sincerity that women can be extremely funny. I have witnessed this in point many times. Amy At The Club was so amusing that I even linked to it on my own site with sincere praise for you. The moment I saw the video I thought you were a terrific addition to the many extremely funny women I’ve seen in my lifetime, and sex did not even cross my mind. Not that you aren’t sexy, of course. Because you are, I mean I’d love to…
Oh, never mind.
January 21st, 2008 at 7:30 pm
If “they” say you are ugly, why do “they” want to rape you?
Forgiveness, please, but you make hard conflict in my brain.
If many women say to me I am ugly, I would be champion of regret my birth.
But if they say they make rape happen to me? I feel champion of pride now! This is honor.
January 21st, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Welcome to the internets. If you’re at all halfway cute, guys will say horrible, horrible things, because anonymity makes them brave.
Complain about it, and you get OTHER guys who try to make up for it with assurances that you’re funny, AND that they’d sleep with you. But only if you want to, of course. Again, welcome to the internets.
I thought you are hilarious –funny enough that I subscribed to your rss feed (so bring some more of your funny to the blog!).
January 21st, 2008 at 10:19 pm
Loved the video.
Ignore the rape talk. It comes from boys who live in mom’s basement and launch hater talk because they’re insecure underachievers.
Better hide that Maxim, sonny. Mommy’ll be down with your grilled cheese and juice box any minute now.
January 22nd, 2008 at 12:58 am
You’re right, Eliza, I found your blog thanks to the video, which I thought was hysterical and obviously proved your mettle at comedy portrayals. I read your posts and I thought to myself, “Self, this is one funny chick.”
So ignore the haters, be proud of your work, and keep doing it…because we’re all watching and we think it’s hilarious.
And not just because you have tits.
January 22nd, 2008 at 5:44 am
Yikes!
I’m sorry you had to go through all that! It seems like a simple thing just to make a hilarious video, but I guess… there are weird people.
Sorry if me asking you out on the comment board was part of the stress … we can take it slow if you want…
(just kidding, will you be?)
January 22nd, 2008 at 7:33 am
“Complain about it, and you get OTHER guys who try to make up for it with assurances that you’re funny, AND that they’d sleep with you. But only if you want to, of course. Again, welcome to the internets.” —-mos
Oh yes mos has nailed it. The white knights will arrive to wash your feet and weep at your beauty.
Be sure to make fun of them too!
We request NAY we demand it.
PS - Knock out some more videos pronto. We require teh funnah.
January 22nd, 2008 at 12:49 pm
I always ignore all the random comments people make on the Internet.
Don’t mind those haters, Eliza!
January 22nd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Babe,
I have my diamond encrusted brass knuckles from Tiffany’s in my handbag…you tell me when and where and I’ll go bust some heads in the most fashionable manner imaginable.
May the force be with you.
January 22nd, 2008 at 3:53 pm
but, but, i meant rape in a totally romantic way! you just don’t get me anymore Eliza!!!
January 22nd, 2008 at 4:02 pm
I am thankful and honored not only to be linked but to be linked to by the word “funny” in your sentence-of-links. I only wished my tiresome blog lived up to the adjective with any regularity.
Also, the general tone of digg (and YouTube) comments are one of the reasons I mostly stay behind the camera. Yuck. I remember getting this sort of thing in my emailbox on the IRC from my first journal over there and the horrible revelation that there were EVIL nerds not just pitiable, misunderstood good-hearted nerds.
January 22nd, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Welcome to fame, such as it is. Fame doesn’t really understand the difference between a character portrayed by an actress, and the real thing. News, entertainment, it all comes over the same feed tube nowadays. I get typecast as an evil nasty seducer type. That’s my stock character on stage, and it annoys me how many people think that -I’m- really that way. Sigh. Anyway, if you’re not pissing someone off, you’re not doing it right…
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:53 am
I saw Amy and laughed. The I thought of one of my friends who is exactly like that and I laughed more.
The whole dick in the mouth thing never really crossed my mind…..
January 23rd, 2008 at 5:14 pm
I like you.
January 24th, 2008 at 10:56 am
Yeah, well you got my initial comments in an e-mail. I’ll just add that I did my own small little rant on my own small little blog. Those pent-up feelings traveled in the ether, and I had to do it. Sisterhood solidarity.
January 29th, 2008 at 10:20 am
“The white knights will arrive to wash your feet and weep at your beauty.” –Scarlet_Lutefisk
Ayup. Where the HELL is my sponge?! And my hanky?
I ended up watching most of your videos, and liked them a lot. And I didn’t think about rape ONCE during the viewings.
January 30th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
I agree with Dyna! Thank you for making me the “of” of your life!
February 2nd, 2008 at 9:39 am
Eliza - I found your Amy video from Digg and I think you are totally hot! I wished I was living back in the states so I could get to one of your shows
February 24th, 2008 at 11:44 pm
i have shown amy at the club to everyone i know with a computer. it’s a big hit. i still laugh about it and use phrases from it often. and you have great eyebrows, so don’t worry.
March 5th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Eliza, you’re a champ. Just discovered you and I’m totally on your staff now. You’ve got your head on straight and you’re going places those SHITCOKCS couldn’t dream up. Wanna hear my pitch? OKay: Lifetime movie. Fat girl triumphs over adversity and struggles with self-doubt, abuse, ostracization, and eventually wins the internets! It’ll be called Not Without My Lulz. You can play my scrappy lesbian aunt with the german shepherds.
March 5th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
I really hate the sexism in some of the comments here - just because they like you doesn’t mean they “get it”.
Anyway…you are awesome and I’m looking forward to seeing more of your work. Amy in the Club killed me.