Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

Wedding Barf

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

My friend’s finace has started a tumblr about the ridiculous shit thrust upon women in the name of your SPECIAL DAY OMGOMG!!!!
I suggest you check it out – http://weddingbarf.tumblr.com/
I have never understood why people lose their fucking minds when it comes to weddings – I think it might have something to do with the lack [...]

EARTHQUAKE!

Tuesday, March 16th, 2010

Last night I woke up to an earthquake at 4am. I went back to sleep right away – half of my brain thinking “Enh, that happens here, no biggy,” as the other half thought “Wait, that’s ok with you?! You want to MOVE here???”
I can’t say that that was the first time I’ve been shaken [...]

Child Brides

Sunday, March 14th, 2010

I don’t get why adults like to dress children up like brides and grooms and take pictures. Or rather, I don’t get why they stop there. When I have kids I’m going to dress them up as all the stills from Revolutionary Road.

Morning Panic

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

I used to have panic attacks on trash day when I was a kid. I would hear the truck rumbling down our block at 6am and suddenly realize that I hadn’t done any arts and crafts projects with last Sunday’s Family Circus. That could have been an amazing placemat for my grandparents! Shit! “I really [...]

…SHAMELESS! in LA

Friday, February 26th, 2010

I’m doing my solo show, Eliza Skinner is: SHAMELESS!, at the UCB Theater in LA next week. Come check it out and you’ll see this LIIIIIVE on stage:

Eliza Skinner is: SHAMELESS!
UCB Theater
5919 Franklin Ave
Thursday, March 4th at 8pm
http://losangeles.ucbtheatre.com/shows/1493

I Eat Media – Skins, Madea, The Mist

Monday, February 8th, 2010

I’ve decided to try to start cataloging the media and entertainment I consume, because (a) it’s a lot and (b) unless I start writing about it it just becomes brain poop.  So let’s start with the last week of January and try to catch up quickly.
Skins -Netflix Instant Watch
Remember Degrassi High? And Eastenders? No? No [...]

Stand Up – LIVE in New York

Monday, February 8th, 2010

I’m doing stand-up this Wednesday in NYC at Comix! It’s fun show that usually has a great mix of new and seasoned comics, and it’s cheap.
Comix
353 West 14th St (at 9th Ave)
Wednesday, February 10th, 7pm
$10 (plus a 2 item minimum)

Slow walkers

Saturday, February 6th, 2010

I am constantly confused by people walking INFURIATINGLY slow in front of me on New York City streets. Today, in an effort to distract myself from the overwhelming urge to murder the tourists crawling down Broadway in front of me, I tried to think of reasons why these people move so slowly.

They are detectives looking for [...]

Jerk it

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

A while back I was performing at a stand up show where one of the other comics decided to forgo his set and instead just list the women in comedy that he has thought about while beating off. (Which, at a “downtown comedy” show is really just about the same thing. ) He included me [...]

None of the girls

Wednesday, December 16th, 2009

I have never been good with girls.
When I was in first grade, at St. Catherine’s all-girls school, I had an imaginary friend named Anne Sidney Davenport. She was good at tennis and ballet and had long wavy blond pigtails like a cocker spaniel, i.e. she was perfect. I didn’t play with her that much, but [...]