What’s up with ladies and monkeys, right? Or apes, I should say (but more enjoy saying “monkeys”, especially with my mouth full of soup.) I’ll tell you – some women, no matter what a gorilla does to them, just can’t walk away. They keep thinking that the Gorilla didn’t mean it, or that he’s going [...]
Warning – these will make you laugh and feel gross at the same time. They may be NSFW, if your workplace has a policy again creepy weird nature videos. Make sure your sound is up.
Do I like to search youtube for phrases like “turtle sex”? Yes. Yes I do.
I just looked behind the refrigerator ( I dropped a carrot, OK??) and found that this apartment is INFESTED!! LOOK!
EWW! Baby turtles! Gross!
I will probably not get a lot of work done today, either.
I’m sick. I have got-no-job-itis. Symptoms include a stomach ache, fatigue, and not putting a shirt on until 6pm. I was supposed to go to an event the evening, and my preperatory nap lasted way too long.But even sicker than me, is this video on youtube I found while looking for clips for that last [...]
Have you all met my boyfriend, Will? He’s a computer programmer by day, and comedian by night. Recently, though, he’s been working on a big project at work that’s been using up a lot of his brain power. It seems hard for him to let go of it when he leaves work, so sometimes when [...]
Kitty: Pssst! Guess what?
Dawg: What.
Kitty: I’m a kitty! heehee!
Kitty: Psst! Come here – I have another secret!
Dawg: What?
Kitty: I’m a Kitty!
Kitty: Haha, heehoo! Ha! Huh. Hm.
Kitty: Kitty kitty kitty kitty!!!
Dawg: OK!
Kitty: Sorry.
Kitty: Pst, Hey.
Kitty: psssssstt! HEY!
Dawg: I know.
Kitty: No – no you don’t!
Dawg: I know.
Kitty: Unh-uh! It’s different. Psssssssst!
Dawg: WHAT.
Kitty: I’m a KITTY!! Heeheeheegiggleygoo!
(thanks to [...]
I am going to take a break from my usually rage-filled teeth gnashing to tell you all about my late great cat, Frannie.
Frannie was a good time, clever and weird. She knew how to turn doorknobs and beg on hehind legs. My favorite joke as a kid (besides jumping out from behind corners and [...]
They know.
They can tell what I’m really all about.
My boyfriend, Will, thinks I’m a nice friendly person, but his cats know I’m going to fucking eat them.
Foolish Will, inviting me into his apartment, leaving me alone with them for hours. Can’t he see what they know for sure? That it’s only a matter of time [...]
“Oh god, you’re going to think I’m so sick….
I just– I just don’t find regular cats cute anymore. For me to really get into them enough to want to, you know…pet them, they have to be in sinks.”
“So anyways, it turns out that I’m not the only one. I started this website, and now [...]