elizaskinner.net – the jambox

I don’t know what I was thinking in college. I lived off of keg beer and powdered mashed potatoes, wore overalls almost every day, and hosted a radio show at 3am where I played a delightful mix of hardcore metal and showtunes. My decision-making skills were like a bingo cage full of sandwiches and bottlerockets. But at least I was smart enough to start dating my roommate.

Brian and I had been in a band together when we signed a lease on a house with a couple of friends. By the time we moved in, though, I had quit the band because despite both of us being smart and funny – Brian and I hated each other. Practices had stopped being about playing shitty music, and had devolved into screaming fights over song lyrics and who had the stupider face. But then after a couple of weeks of living together, we realized that we hated each other because we LOVED each other. Just like Sam and Diane! Who are imaginary! I mean, sure, it could get sticky, but we were adults! (Adults who ate deep-fried fruit-loops and occasionally shoplifted underpants from Walmart, but technically, adults.) Great decision #1!

When we told our other roommates about our new love, they took the news like champs. Troy nodded and shuffled into the bathroom to continue shaping his hair into floppy spikes, and Kerry started to cry. I don’t want to take full credit for it, but this is was the same week she shaved her head and became a militant vegan lesbian.

Brian and I had been under the impression that once we started dating we would stop fighting. This never happened. In fact, we were spending even more time together, so we just fought more. It wasn’t that we disagreed about anything fundamentally, we just didn’t know how to behave like humans. Shockingly, at the end of the school year, we broke up – just before we signed a lease on another house.

That’s right – we broke up, THEN we signed a lease – along with Troy and 3 of our other closest friends. We figured it wouldn’t be a big deal, since we were all adults. (Adults that smashed windows and made fun of each other in front of our parents, but legally, adults.) Great decision #2.

You know what is uncomfortable? Living with your ex-boyfriend. You know what is even more uncomfortable? Trying to date a guy from your improv group new while your ex-boyfriend rants about his “stupid ponytail” and angrily blasts REM from the basement. Things were further complicated by the fact that I was friends with one of my new boyfriend’s ex-girlfriends, Kate, and she was still upset about their breakup. Wait a minute…are you thinking what I’m thinking? I have an ex…he has an ex…let’s kill two exes with one stone! So, yes, I set up Brian and Kate. I actually did that. I actually thought that we could all handle that, because we were all adults. (Adults who woke each other up sobbing and angrily locked ourselves in bathrooms, but still, adults.) Great decision #3.

Guess who broke up?

Everyone.

Guess who got back together?

The dum dums who started the whole thing.

Great decision #4.

But hey, that’s what makes you into an adult. Making bad decisions and learning from them…eventually.

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 5th, 2009 at 1:04 pm and is filed under Uncategorized, Why don't boys like me?. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.