Sometimes I wonder if Bentley has a death wish – a tiny cat death wish – that, without access to handguns or even the street outside, he is forced to address with substance abuse. For Bentley, that substance comes in the form of plastic bags. (Preferably plastic grocery bags, but in a pinch he’ll take [...]
Again – Advice from me & my cat!
Dear Bentley,
Okay, so I’m trying to get back into the dating game, but I keep hitting a speed bump.I had a little trauma just before school started, and I’m still a little shaken from it. I’m worked myself up to being able to be in the company of [...]
Tonight I’ll be debuting my new musical project The New York Cycle at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater. TNYC is me, Jody Shelton (Jody Shelton Band) and Peter Gwinn (The Colbert Report) – each month we’re writing a brand new 30 minute musical inspired by a different part of New York City. So far we [...]
I am awful at getting haircuts. In other parts of my life, I am confident if not outspoken, but getting a haircut immediately makes me revert to a 7-year-old with a wet head. I become painfully self-conscious and shy – totally unable to carry on a conversation besides the ones going on in my head [...]
As promised, here is the first installment of my new advice column featuring me and my cat, Bentley ET Crabcakes.
Hello Bently and Eliza. Since you’ve decided to do “self help” things, I thought I’d email you with what I need help with.
I’m not necessarily a knock out or a “hottie” or anything like that, [...]
Me & Bobby Moynihan re-enacting the Dirty Dancing routine at the UCB years ago.
I never considered myself a hardcore fan. I have only been an official member of one fan club in my life - The E.T. Fanclub. I have waited in line for an autograph exactly once – Bruce Campbell, and that was really just to give [...]
Dr. Cuddy
Don’t get me wrong, I love House. There are honestly few shows that I love more. If it was an option, I would carry a Hugh Laurie lunchbox to work with me. But I’m at a breaking point on one issue: the women on that show look ridiculous.
Why do they all look like [...]
So is Bentley.
Reaching out to help you.
We want to help you sort out your problems, and your life. So if you need advice about anything – love, life, booty – drop us a line at bentleycrabcakes@gmail.com. We’ll publish the letters and answers here on Fridays starting next week.
Come on Internet! I know you’re all fucked [...]
If you are in DC next weekend, check out the DC shorts festival! http://www.dcshorts.com/ Who doesn’t like short films, right? Jerks, that’s who.
I’m in a short called “Boo”, which was selected as a featured pick by the Washington Post. Nice, right?
If you are in NY, come to the BEATdown tonight at the UCB at 11pm. Comedians, [...]