It’s on.

Yeah, I like the new New Kids On The Block song, so? SO??*sob*Oh God, I don’t know what’s happening. I feel so dirty.I always hated them when I was a kid. I was the only kid I knew with no interest in their rattails and girlish smiles, let alone their shitty miditracks singles. So why this song? Why now? WHY ME?The video is so awful it makes my eyes water, they look like a bunch of dads embarrassing their offscreen kids. I just imagine a group of tween girls standing just off-camera covering their faces and trying to murder them with their minds. They also look so creepy rubbing up on a bunch of wet young girls. Is there a male equivalent for the term “cougar”? There should be. It should be “New Kid On The Block.” Oh, and the dancing! Silhouetted posing?! You guys had like 15 years to work on this and THAT’s the best you can do? That editor must have been sweating trying to cut around all the lazy mismatched dancing.And yet.That song jams. I can’t lie, ya’ll! It’s a fun beachy tune.Judge me, judgers -but watch out, karma’s a bitch. Next week you’ll be secretly loving the new Aqua single.

11 Responses to “It’s on.”

  1. D. Billy Says:

    The gold:

    2:28 - 2:34 … I was *certain* that this line was going to end with “Came to shit, but only farted”.

    and also,

    2:35 … Donnie likes this part.

  2. vince Says:

    video is no longer available.

    we ask one simple thing eliza. that you deliver. WHERE IS YOUR CREDIBILITY NOW?!

  3. Adrien Says:

    “Is there a male equivalent for a cougar?”

    Somewhere out in the world, an angel just got it’s wings.

  4. Kenny G. Says:

    Ow…. my soul……..

    But, fear not…. My best friend (in his late 30’s) has been a Kelly Clarkson fan from the start…. and then he found a new song he liked… calle “See you again”….. which, to his horror, he later found out was a Miley Cyrus song….

    He could have A: Forbid himself from liking the song any longer or B: Embrace the creepyness….. That song is now on the Top 10 of our favorite bar’s jukebox…. and it’s even growing on me… you think you feel dirty….. *cringe*

    Three cheers for the songs we wish we didn’t like…

    (BTW: The “male equivalent for a cougar”…. come on, it’s a “guy”…. guys are sluts, we all know that. It trancends terminology.)

    - Kenny G.

  5. TZ Says:

    …got about a third of the way through…… *gag*

    ……had to play some “Black Keys” to save my sanity..

  6. Brad in Ohio Says:

    Aqua’s making a comeback!?!?

    Remember Jordan’s late 90s comeback? That was a jam: http://youtube.com/watch?v=lAsBZB4pjHM

  7. Dan Says:

    I’m pretty sure the accepted male equivalent for cougar is “Manther.”

  8. Joe G. Says:

    I agree, Brad in Ohio, that was totally a jam.

    And I also agree with Eliza– the new NKOTB isn’t terrible. It sounds like they listened to LFO’s “summertime” and were like, hey, let’s make this song slightly different. I am okay with that.

  9. Ben Says:

    GONG!

  10. sasha Says:

    actually there is a male equivalent of the therm “cougar”. it’s “trout”. seriously.

  11. Dude Says:

    That song would make a great commercial for uncrustables.