There is no better social barometer in an office than the lunchroom. Outwardly, everyone looks pulled together and stuffed into contempo casuals and sensible pumps. But inwardly they are all seething with regret, confusion, and the type of passionate self-loathing that can only be expressed by a frozen veggie burger wrapped in dry lettuce. You […]
Does love at first sight really exist?Is there a perfect person out there for everyone?Do girls with small hands have small vaginas?
I Eat Pandas might not have much, but we do have Google Alerts for our names and a show this Saturday night. Here’s what the blogs have said about us recently:”Glennis McMurray is rad.”-JohnsGoodTimes.com “Eliza Skinner elevates the craft to an artform.”-Improvoker.com“Aside from working together like chocolate and peanut butter, Skinner and McMurray create improvised […]
The title of this post was typed by my cat while I was getting dressed this morning. I am slightly concerned about him - does he mean the swimming place or the game? Either one is going to disappoint him. The former is full of water, which he pretty much hates, and the latter requires […]
Yeah, I like the new New Kids On The Block song, so? SO??*sob*Oh God, I don’t know what’s happening. I feel so dirty.I always hated them when I was a kid. I was the only kid I knew with no interest in their rattails and girlish smiles, let alone their shitty miditracks singles. So why […]
Ok, fine, I give in. I will write about Dark Knight.But, what is there to say? When you see a Lion jump over a canyon full of diamonds on a moped made of fire, what can you say? “Wow. That was as awesome as I hoped it would be.” I mean that’s about it.I do, […]
Attract, repel: lifelike dolls are collector culthttp://www.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUSL0373440320080717?feedType=RSS&feedName=lifestyleMoltPeople are buying these expensive dolls - which are essentially dead babies with heartbeats - to practice “cuddle therapy” for dealing with stress and the loss of a child. They call it “reborning”.Yeeeesh. Yucko. Yikes.I have so many jokes I am refusing to make, just in case it jinxes […]
(Left) Glennis McMurray: Blonde, fun-loving, terrible beatboxer, loves the Sugar Hill Gang’s Rapper’s Delight, hates Michael McDonald & Meatloaf.(Right) Eliza Skinner: Brunette, dead inside, AWESOME beatboxer, wants to murder Rapper’s Delight every time it’s played, loves Michael McDonald & Meatloaf (excluding Bat Out Of Hell II).Now, I know what you’re thinking “Clearly these two should […]
When my mother was a special ed teacher, she had an autistic kid named PJ in one of her classes who would carry around a radio in the hopes that “In The Carwash” might play on it. PJ had his radio with him constantly, and would freak out and scream if anyone tried to take […]
Yikes!Teens Used Skull As BongPolice arrest trio for digging up corpse at Houston-area cemeteryhttp://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/0509081corpse1.htmlI get that sometimes you really want to get high, and you don’t have any papers or a pipe, and you have to get crafty, but…jesus. Back in MY day we used to just smoke out of coke cans, apples, or squirrel […]