elizaskinner.net – the jambox

Under-5 roles in TV shows and movies are the ones that have less than 5 lines – the teeny tiny “Venti Latte at the bar!” “Look, I ain’t no murderer, I just found the guy”, “Hey! That monkey stole my dog!” parts. At a certain point in one’s career booking one is exciting, but eventually it’s a real kick in the crotch, especially if you walk in thinking you’re reading for a lead.

When I was 22 I started dating my neighbor’s 24 year-old best friend. He was smart and fun – loved books and throwing parties. In fact, he seemed like such a great guy that I had to start keeping a trashcan by my front door because I was so nervous I almost threw up every time I left for a date with him. Literally. This should have been my first sign that it was bad news – there is no situation in life which better defines the idea of “listen to your gut” than puking down your date dress.

So it should have been no surprise when at the end of a date a few weeks later, standing on 22nd street, he tells me that we need to “cool off” because he’s been having a growing online affair with a 16 year-old girl and it was getting “pretty intense”. I replied, “Are you serious? You’re in love with your 16 year-old pen pal?” Suddenly he gets this look of realization on his face, like clouds are parting and he is surrounded by honey-colored bunnies tenderly fucking bluebirds, and he says “maybe I am. Yeah, maybe I’m in love with her.” And I took off my shoes and hailed a cab.

I sat in the back of the cab too pissed off to even eat the candy in my purse, and I realized that I had just wasted a month on someone else’s story. That fucking look of wonderous wonder at the beauty of his new love is what rubbed it in – THAT was the crux of this story, not my dumping. This seemed impossible to me – how could there be a more important character here than me!? Me with my charming dorkiness and playful make-up! But – I must be smarter than her! But – she can’t possibly be as fun as me! But…there it was – I was just an Under 5.

Thinking back, now I realize that that’s really a shitty movie anyway. “Ivy League Douchebag and His Childbride” is not the sort of project I should be going out for. I should be in groundbreaking indie movies, maybe even my own. If I just focus on my own story, I don’t have to worry about someone else’s crappy casting choices. And if I do end up an Under 5 again, well, sometimes a bit part steals the show.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 11th, 2008 at 3:09 pm and is filed under Most Popular Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.