elizaskinner.net – the jambox

When I was 15 I memorized the Fear mantra from Dune* – I had plenty of time to do it, since I wasn’t busy dating or showering regularly or anything. I was thinking about it again recently and decided that in an effort to allow my fears to “pass over and through me”, I need to stop hiding them and come clean.So, here are my fears:

• People will find out how much I poop and be shocked and disgusted.
• It is more likely that I will become Mayor of Raccoontown than get married at this point.
• Bugs coming out of my walls or skin. Especially if they’re being born.
• I am living an alternate reality version of the life I’m supposed to be living. I made some error years ago – crossed the street a second too late, got on the wrong subway car, left the party – and it sent me on this wrong path.
• Foxholes. Oh Jesus, FOXHOLES.
• I am unknowingly wanted by the government, and they’re just taking their time before they nab me.
• My whole family is going to get their legs ripped off or die any second.
• I might never talk to animals (or sentient robots), time travel, or have a network TV show.
• Everyone else knows something I don’t know.
• Rats coming out of the toilet.
• You’ll find out how much I love you and be shocked and disgusted.

*I will not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will allow it to pass over and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 4th, 2008 at 2:49 pm and is filed under Most Popular Posts, Nerd Queen, me, me, ME!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.