elizaskinner.net - the jambox

Snake covered in sheet.

Imagine the worst thing ever. Exactly - a 7 foot python slithering out of your toilet. Well, it happened! On Monday night in brooklyn, a woman found a snake in her toilet. Holy Jesus, right? Time to stop using toilets and move into a sealed glass box, right? Well, yeah. But more importantly, I have a few issues with the Daily News article about this incident.

1. No where does it refer to the snake as a “motherfucking python” or “a goddamned 7-foot snake OMGOMG!!1!” I appreciate the journalist’s effort to be professional, but in this case it’s only accurate.

2. According to the Daily News, the course of events was thus: “Nature’s call forced Nadege Brunacci, 38, to the dark bathroom in her Cobble Hill, Brooklyn, apartment in the wee hours of Monday morning.
   While washing her hands, she glanced back at the toilet to find a 7-foot-long python staring back at her.”

   Normally, one washes ones hands AFTER using the bathroom. So…she pooped on a snake, right?

3. Almost at the end of the article, they mention this:
   Nobody knows where the snake came from, or how it made its way up three stories of piping, but a first-floor tenant in the four-story Tiffany Place walkup reported seeing the creature slithering down the basement steps eight days earlier.
   This is the worst neighbor ever. “Oh shit, right! I DID see that giant snake slithering into our basement, but then I started trying to remember which was my favorite lucky charm marshmellow and I forgot. I smoke a lot of PCP.”

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 17th, 2007 at 1:56 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.