elizaskinner.net - the jambox

Ah, romance! It is all about love!
Kind of. Sometimes.
Actually, I think it is about big dramatic emotions, which sometimes are not love at all. Take note of these emotions and remember to ask yourself “Am I in Love, or…something else?”

• Anxiety, the devil’s stomach butterflies - If you spit up on the way to meet him, if the thought of her name makes you hold your breath until you black out, if you have never been able to have a conversation without having a drink or valium first, you are not in love. That feeling is ANXIETY. It’s your body’s way of saying “This might kill us.” Run away.
• Horrified Fascination, or “There is just something about him…” - You know how sometimes you’ll look up photos of horrible skin conditions just to see how long you can stare at them before you have to look away? This is the relationship equivalent of that. When you find yourself dating a man who shows up everywhere drunk and/or naked, sucks on a teddy bear to get to sleep, and still complains that you won’t convert to his religion, you might just hate him. You will only end up scratching his eyes out, screaming “WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID???” Run away.
• Lust, the sexy word for “desperate” - yeah, you heard me. Get some standards.
• Safety, or “Zzzzzzzzzzzzz” - The kind of girl you SHOULD be with. The kind of girl all your friends like…I mean, if they’re remembering the right one. The kind of girl you could fall asleep with your dick still inside. Here, you are the jerk. Because you DON’T really want this person, and someone else would. You are keeping them from being with someone who will think they are amazing, and you’re probably treating them a little like dirt along the way. Run away, Asshole.
• Potential, the imaginary lover - Just another rollercoaster of hope and disappointment. People tell you who they are. Listen to them. If they say “I have such a problem with commitment/jews/chewing with my mouth closed!” - then they DO, even if you think they don’t, or don’t want to, or seem to be on the cusp of changing. Hope can be intoxicating, but so can drugs and at least with drugs you know what you’re getting yourself into. Run away, and get high.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 17th, 2007 at 2:37 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.