Eliza’s Anonymous Temp Journal
Every time I start a temp job and they find out I’m a comedian, they always say variations on the same thing: “you’re going to get a lot of material here – we’re hilarious!!” Normally, this is a complete lie, followed only by excruciatingly boring hours of silent photocopying and avoidance. But when they said it to me on my first day here at Crappy Dayjob International, it was actually true.
I work with two punchy reality-tv-obsessed ladies named Teresa and Evelyn. Evelyn has told me the same stories about her 3 year-old daughter being a sass-mouth who “thinks she’s all that” about 40 times. I smile and laugh and she shouts to Teresa, “She’s so quiet! We’re crazy!” Teresa is for real funny. She spends her time planning her wedding and being crazy nasty to and about everyone she works with. I have no idea how she gets away with the shit she says, but everyone seems to laugh her off happily. I am fascinated by it.
They occupy the two cubicles behind me and shout conversations over the wall dividers all day. A recent favorite:
Evelyn: My computer’s all fucked up - SCUSE MY LANGUAGE, LIZA!
Me: I don’t care.
Teresa: You need to call IT. Call Seal.
Evelyn: Yeah.
Teresa: You know who I’m talking about? Seal? You know why I call him that?
Evelyn: Aw…Yeah. That’s sad.
Teresa: What? No! He has big eyes like a seal.
Evelyn: Oh! I thought—
Teresa: That’s awful!
Evelyn: Yeah.
Teresa: His face is messed up though.
April 27th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
This is awesome.
April 27th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
An IT seal? Sounds like an amazing company.
-Terry
November 16th, 2007 at 5:46 am
Two new studies show why some people are more attractive for members of the opposite sex than others.
The University of Florida, Florida State University found that physically attractive people almost instantly attract the attention of the interlocutor, sobesednitsy with them, literally, it is difficult to make eye. This conclusion was reached by a series of psychological experiments, which were determined by the people who believe in sending the first seconds after the acquaintance. Here, a curious feature: single, unmarried experimental preferred to look at the guys, beauty opposite sex, and family, people most often by representatives of their sex.
The authors believe that this feature developed a behavior as a result of the evolution: a man trying to find a decent pair to acquire offspring. If this is resolved, he wondered potential rivals. Detailed information about this magazine will be published Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
In turn, a joint study of the Rockefeller University, Rockefeller University and Duke University, Duke University in North Carolina revealed that women are perceived differently by men smell. During experiments studied the perception of women one of the ingredients of male pheromone-androstenona smell, which is contained in urine or sweat.
The results were startling: women are part of this repugnant odor, and the other part is very attractive, resembling the smell of vanilla, and the third group have not felt any smell. The authors argue that the reason is that the differences in the receptor responsible for the olfactory system, from different people are different.
It has long been proven that mammals (including human) odor is one way of attracting the attention of representatives of the opposite sex. A detailed article about the journal Nature will publish.