Archive for April, 2007

It’s a wiki wiki world.

Monday, April 30th, 2007

WikiHow.com is a wonderfully tragic website. After google directed me there to find out about speed reading, I started following the related links to see what wikihow could teach me. It took about 3 pages to get totally pathetic. I’d like to share with you some of the informative articles available on wikihow.com:

How to Hug […]

Saturday Shows

Friday, April 27th, 2007

This Saturday night I’ve got two shows! Check it!
7:30pm -

Eliza Skinner is: SHAMELESS!
A show about people you don’t like, but have to love.
Unknown internet poster “David” said of the show:
“Hey, I never heard of you before, but I wanted to tell you that I saw Shameless last night at the UCB theater, and I […]

Dear Creepy Co-Worker,

Friday, April 27th, 2007

Dude. Quit it. Quit walking past my cubicle on your way to the bathroom. We both know that you’re going way out of your way, and that unless you need to go to a doctor you don’t need to visit the bathroom that often. Or here – why don’t we compromise: you can keep walking […]

Eliza’s Anonymous Temp Journal

Friday, April 27th, 2007

Every time I start a temp job and they find out I’m a comedian, they always say variations on the same thing: “you’re going to get a lot of material here – we’re hilarious!!” Normally, this is a complete lie, followed only by excruciatingly boring hours of silent photocopying and avoidance. But when they said […]

Beaten by a cat. Live on the radio!

Friday, April 27th, 2007

If you’re wondering where you can hear more of me arguing with cats on the radio, check out last night’s episode of Fair Game With Faith Salie.
(This debate will be of special interest to anyone who knows my opponent, Mr. Pants, currently living with Brian Minter of Meredith Bragg and the Terminals and Bears Will […]

So Busy!

Thursday, April 26th, 2007

It’s a big night for me, Skinnerfans. I am going to power through my horrible cold to do TWO awesome variety shows tonight. Come see one! Come see both! (But, if you choose the latter, please don’t be creepy about it.)
Livia’s Castle of Enchantment - 8:30pm
THE PIT
154 West 29th St
$5 With FREE Admission to […]

Horrible Cold

Tuesday, April 24th, 2007

I have a horrible cold.
Please, if you do not have a horrible cold, take a moment today to appreciate how nice it is to breathe through your nose. If you do have a horrible cold - I feel you, girl.

Mimic Octopus

Thursday, April 19th, 2007

The Mimic Octopus is a recently discovered species of octopus - it’s so new it doesn’t even have a scientific name yet. It got it’s name from it’s ability to change it’s shape to camouflage itself. It’s really amazing - the mimic octopus can look like all sorts of objects and predators that inhabit […]

More Pet Peeves

Wednesday, April 18th, 2007

Fashion magazines articles that include the phrase “there’s nothing worse than”. (I.e., “there’s nothing worse than make-up on dry skin!” or “there’s nothing worse than cracked nails.”) Because, yes there is. There are LOTS of things worse than anything written about in a fashion magazine. When I read that phrase I instantly start thinking of […]

Pet Peeves

Tuesday, April 10th, 2007

I am cranky today! So please enjoy my ranting and frustrated fist-shaking.
1) People who ask a question and then start talking as you try to answer. This most often happens with dopey thugs - the same type that honestly think they’re beiong nice when they call you “sweetie” or “hon” - and it drives me […]