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Point - Counterpoint: Babies

Point: Babies are stupid

by Eliza Skinner

They’re cute, little, and soft, but babies are dumb as rocks. When was the last time you had any sort of meaningful exchange with a baby? In my experience, any attempt to speak, play, or work with a baby elicits staring, drooling, and at best a weak attempt to clap.

Babies get a lot of credit for having an incredible capacity for learning, yet no one talks about how much they actually know (which is next to nothing.) Should we start rewarding people for sucesses they have the capacity to achieve? Punishing people for crimes they have the capacity to commit? I have the capacity to pay for a hamburger - are you going to give it to me for free? No, that would be stupid. Only a baby would do that.

The next time someone tells me their baby is “so smart” or “really intelligent” I’ll have this to say: “yeah? Let’s see it read.” Because you do have to be smart to read, and I guarantee that if you give that baby a book it’ll just try to eat it.

Counterpoint

By A Baby

Bah bah bah baba. Da bah baba. Bah da bah!

Da ba deedeedeee. DAWG!

Goop.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 21st, 2007 at 4:56 pm and is filed under Most Popular Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

6 Responses to “Point - Counterpoint: Babies”

  1. Kula Says:
    March 22nd, 2007 at 1:42 am

    Baby makes a good point.

  2. Amy Says:
    March 22nd, 2007 at 11:33 pm

    Kula makes a good point.

  3. Mica Says:
    March 26th, 2007 at 10:04 am

    If you are SO smart, here’s your rebuttal, Eliza?

  4. Carolyn Says:
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:24 pm

    Babies are smart enough to know that the way to get ahead in life is by being cute. If Adriana and I had a point/counterpoint on that level it would go something like this:

    Carolyn: I’m smart and funny but I shop at Lane Bryant.

    Adriana: I’m so fucking cute you just gladly wiped my ass.

    Babies win.

  5. names girl boy » Point - Counterpoint: Babies Says:
    April 4th, 2007 at 3:08 am

    […] unknown wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptThey’re cute, little, and soft, but babies are dumb as rocks. When was the last time you had any sort of meaningful exchange with a baby? In my experience, any attempt to speak, play, or work with a baby elicits staring, drooling, … […]

  6. fossil Says:
    April 9th, 2007 at 1:02 pm

    If they’s only stay that way. But - they grow. Which makes me wonder - why do ( 15 year old ) girls cry so easily?

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