Explain this to me:

Why is Stacy Ferguson (aka Fergie, aka The Dutchess, aka The Girl From The Black Eyed Peas Who Keeps Wetting Herself On Stage) a big star, yet Rashaan Patterson is still struggling? There are clearly TWO stars on this Kids Incorporated stage, and sadly only one is on a nick-name basis with America (and it’s not The Kid). I mean, generally I’d rather peel my face off than watch kids sing, but I could watch this all day long! Rashaan Patterson is a goddamn genius!

Sombody put him in a production on A Chorus Line IMMEDIATELY. LOOK AT HIM!! He’s not even singing and he’s still the best thing up there.

And - yes, Renee Sands, I said TWO stars and I did not include you, or Mario Lopez. Stop googling yourself and work on your god forsaken Wild Orchid album.

On a related note, what the fuck is this??? Promise me you will watch this for at least 45 seconds, and you’ll thank me.

I didn’t get a lot of work done today.

7 Responses to “Explain this to me:”

  1. Erica Says:

    oh. my. god. that sad clown is gonna give me nightmares tonight.

    but why “say you, say me” by lionel richie? come on. they are missing the obvious choices for a song in this scene: “don’t cry out loud” or the alnm classic “send in the clowns.”

    damn, my sister and i used to be so obsessed with this show too. kids in-co-po-ra-ted who-oaaah…k-i-d-s! thanks for helping me relive the good times, skinner. :)

  2. glennis Says:

    That last clip was my date last night.

  3. Jen Says:

    There was a time I would have given up my eyeballs to be on that show. Maybe that day never really went away. I also would have settled for a knock-off of Stacey’s yellow outift.

  4. Lynn Says:

    Thank you for this.

    But TWO stars, Eliza? TWO? You’re really screwing over Martika, and I, for one, am not gonna take it.

    I, too, would have given my eyeballs to be on this. But I would have given my soul to be on MMC. Someday I will post the fanfic I wrote about it before fanfic was even a word.

  5. melinda Says:

    Now I find clowns even scarier.

  6. jambox » Blog Archive » Guilt Says:

    […] Renee Sands really DID google herself and find my entry about her pathetic career. Don’t cry, Renee! You are young! You can open a horsefarm! What do I know? I’m in my pajamas at 3pm! […]

  7. christine Says:

    omg, the way she sings the word “together” is playing on a loop over and over and over again. why????

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