Modern American Collection of Monologues submission #1
Why does it smell like catfood in here?
I know it’s not me, because it doesn’t smell like catfood in the other room.
20 minutes ago, it did not smell like catfood – it did not smell like anything. I left for 10 minutes, and when I came back – mysterious catfood smell!
Is there something in my purse that’s making it smell like catfood? Wallet, ipod, phone – oh I should check my phone.
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No new messages. Just an old one I forgot to delete.
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GOD WHERE IS IT COMING FROM????
Ok, now I have to crawl around looking for it. Smelling for it, really.
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I found a dime. But NO CATFOOD!
Jesus, maybe it IS me.
Or the computer?
No, but my computer smells a little like armpit. Great, now that is a whole ‘nother problem!
Oh my god, it’s my shoes. Will’s goddamn cats made my shoes smell like catfood!! I didn’t smell it in the other room because I was standing when I went in there. That is so gross! I have to go home and change after work now!
That’s a lie. I’ll just go out with stinky shoes. I’ll blame it on the homeless people.
-fin-
August 4th, 2006 at 6:41 pm
You found a dime?
August 15th, 2006 at 2:27 pm
The comment made me laugh out loud.
August 28th, 2006 at 2:42 am
Listen…the other day my boyfriend said my place smelled like old wet dog…..so smelling like cat food doesn’t sounds so bad comparatively speaking…..ahem….